I have said
that every night I begin my prayers with “thank you for my blessings: the
triumphs and the tribulations.” I am thankful for both because even through the
bad times, the trying times, there is always something to be grateful for: your situation could be worse, it’s only temporary, you had support or
someone to go through it with, you discovered something important that helps
later....the reasons for gratefulness are only as limited as your willingness
to seek them.
Over the
weekend, I developed what looked like a seriously nasty bug bite (actually,
multiple bites in one spot) after falling in my garage and not being able to
get up off the floor for a while, right in front of my dogs' cold-weather
sleeping kennels. Fortunately, I only popped my knee, I didn’t break it! But as
for the bite(s), I doctored it; it got worse. I went to the doctor on Monday
morning. He suspected Shingles, with some reservations, but treated it as an
insect bite because I was so insistent that it was bites. I was encouraged by
family and friends to seek a second opinion so I saw my dermatologist, who took
one look and said “shingles”. To be honest, I did what I wish I hadn’t—went
online between doctor visits to investigate both possible diagnoses. I had
about decided I was praying for a bug bite after seeing all the pictures and
hearing all the horror stories about Shingles. A bug bite could be cut out,
cleaned up, stitched up, and I could move on to the next calamity that life
holds. But, that was not to be my case. So, Shingles it is. I cried all the way
home. Cried for the unbearable pain that I am in for, according to all those
who suffered before me. Cried for the possible long lasting side effects. Cried
for all the drugs I have been ingesting this past year and that are being
offered, suggested, prescribed now. Cried for the unknown. Cried because
I was tired and scared. And angry. hashtag pity party
 |
| Me---just before going through the door to give birth to my first child. |
After talking with someone I consider a best friend, and yet we’ve never
met, I began to change my attitude. I was reminded that one of the biggest
triggers of Shingles is stress. If I kept stressing out over the “what if’s”
and “what might be’s”, it would never go away and I would work myself into a
heart attack or stroke. So true. I remembered the day I went to the hospital
for my first childbirth. I remember so clearly being scared out of my mind. I
had not given a single thought to the actual delivery, during my entire
pregnancy, but as they wheeled me through the doors in my wheel chair, the
terror struck. If I hadn’t been so scared of the pain that I was certain was about
to consume my body, I would’ve laughed because in my head was a cartoon image
of Scooby Doo with his hair standing on end, and all 4 limbs firmly planted in
the doorway to avoid going through it—when Shaggy was trying to push him
through into a dark and scary place! But, not long after I was pushed through
that scary door, I popped out a baby — after pain that was nothing more than a
normal backache and one good gas pain! I didn’t even require drugs! I have had
surgery. I’ve had the mumps on both sides. I’ve had 3 babies. I suffer from IBS/colitis and arthritis. I’ve had the worst case of strep throat my doctor had ever seen.
I’ve had Toxic Shock Syndrome when my entire body from the bottoms of my
feet to my scalp was on fire (every inch itched like no poison ivy or fire-ant bite ever could and eventually I peeled
like an onion). I've had 5 impacted teeth cut out in one sitting. I’ve had bad
reactions to simple OTC drugs as well as prescriptions. I’ve had 3rd degree
burns on my hands three different times. I am neither invincible, nor brave...but I know God got me
through each thing I had to face.
I had spoken
to my sister earlier in the day, worrying about her because she’s had the flu
for 2 weeks and the doctor found a spot on her lung that wasn’t pneumonia
(thank goodness) but it was scary because she’s a 2 year cancer survivor. I was
so grateful she didn’t have pneumonia, but the x-ray was scary. I realized how
thankful I am that I have Shingles, not cancer. I had seen so many pictures and
read how dangerous it was for the nerves in your eyes, to have Shingles on your
face. As inconvenient and uncomfortable it is to have this small, ugly alien
attached to my derrière, I am so grateful it’s there instead of on my face. As
scared as I am of any and all drugs, I am grateful that there are things to
help speed the process and lessen the effects, that there are options available
if the discomfort becomes unbearable, that my insurance pays most of the cost
and I’m only out the cost of a donut and a cup of coffee. As fearful as I am of
going to the doctor and absorbing flu and stomach virus germs while in their
offices, I am grateful those professionals are there, that they listen to my
concerns and fears, my complaints and questions, and that my insurance covers
my visits.There are so many things that could be worse than Shingles. In my
weak moments, fear grabs me and takes control. In other words, the devil is
trying to weaken my faith. Well, my calamities are not anywhere near the same
scale with Job's, but I will not let the devil use me as a pawn or make bad
matters worse. With every dose of medicine, I will serve up myself a dose of
gratefulness. I will try very hard to swallow my fears and inject myself with
faith that God’s got my back. He’s holding my hand; He knows how I fear the
unknown (mainly because I am a control freak); He won’t leave me. He has
provided me with intelligence to know when to seek help, with medical
professionals who are kind and caring and knowledgeable, with drugs to ease and
heal, with insurance to cover it all. What should I fear?
I hope that whatever ailment or situation
you are dealing with, whatever crises you experience, that in the midst of
fear, panic, confusion, anger, despair—that you take a moment and go over your
Facebook news feed. Scan the prayer requests, the comments of those announcing a house fire, sharing the news of a job loss or financial troubles, a domestic situation, an illness,
announcing a death. There is always someone who has it worse. Stop and pray for
them. Tell them you are praying for them. Then, every time you feel compelled
to cry out to God for your situation, follow it up by calling out the names of
those other people or situations that need prayer. Replace your fear, anger,
confusion, panic with faith, hope, gratitude, and love.
Just as I first believed when we lost a
child, I still believe today, the words of 2 Corinthians 1:3-5--
"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of
compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so
that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive
from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also
our comfort abounds through Christ."
I would love for you to comment below with
your favorite scripture or quote that gives you comfort. Please feel free to
share your prayer requests as well. I hope you will pray for me. I will certainly be
praying for you.
Chee Chee
@thistapestryofmine
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