Grateful for Shingles? Not exactly...

I have said that every night I begin my prayers with “thank you for my blessings: the triumphs and the tribulations.” I am thankful for both because even through the bad times, the trying times, there is always something to be grateful for: your situation could be worse, it’s only temporary, you had support or someone to go through it with, you discovered something important that helps later....the reasons for gratefulness are only as limited as your willingness to seek them.  

Over the weekend, I developed what looked like a seriously nasty bug bite (actually, multiple bites in one spot) after falling in my garage and not being able to get up off the floor for a while, right in front of my dogs' cold-weather sleeping kennels. Fortunately, I only popped my knee, I didn’t break it! But as for the bite(s), I doctored it; it got worse. I went to the doctor on Monday morning. He suspected Shingles, with some reservations, but treated it as an insect bite because I was so insistent that it was bites. I was encouraged by family and friends to seek a second opinion so I saw my dermatologist, who took one look and said “shingles”. To be honest, I did what I wish I hadn’t—went online between doctor visits to investigate both possible diagnoses. I had about decided I was praying for a bug bite after seeing all the pictures and hearing all the horror stories about Shingles. A bug bite could be cut out, cleaned up, stitched up, and I could move on to the next calamity that life holds. But, that was not to be my case. So, Shingles it is. I cried all the way home. Cried for the unbearable pain that I am in for, according to all those who suffered before me. Cried for the possible long lasting side effects. Cried for all the drugs I have been ingesting this past year and that are being offered, suggested, prescribed now.  Cried for the unknown. Cried because I was tired and scared. And angry. hashtag pity party

Me---just before going through the door to give birth to my first child.

After talking with someone I consider a best friend, and yet we’ve never met, I began to change my attitude. I was reminded that one of the biggest triggers of Shingles is stress. If I kept stressing out over the “what if’s” and “what might be’s”, it would never go away and I would work myself into a heart attack or stroke. So true. I remembered the day I went to the hospital for my first childbirth. I remember so clearly being scared out of my mind. I had not given a single thought to the actual delivery, during my entire pregnancy, but as they wheeled me through the doors in my wheel chair, the terror struck. If I hadn’t been so scared of the pain that I was certain was about to consume my body, I would’ve laughed because in my head was a cartoon image of Scooby Doo with his hair standing on end, and all 4 limbs firmly planted in the doorway to avoid going through it—when Shaggy was trying to push him through into a dark and scary place! But, not long after I was pushed through that scary door, I popped out a baby — after pain that was nothing more than a normal backache and one good gas pain! I didn’t even require drugs! I have had surgery. I’ve had the mumps on both sides. I’ve had 3 babies. I suffer from IBS/colitis and arthritis. I’ve had the worst case of strep throat my doctor had ever seen.  I’ve had Toxic Shock Syndrome when my entire body from the bottoms of my feet to my scalp was on fire (every inch itched like no poison ivy or fire-ant bite ever could and eventually I peeled like an onion). I've had 5 impacted teeth cut out in one sitting. I’ve had bad reactions to simple OTC drugs as well as prescriptions. I’ve had 3rd degree burns on my hands three different times.  I am neither invincible, nor brave...but I know God got me through each thing I had to face.     

I had spoken to my sister earlier in the day, worrying about her because she’s had the flu for 2 weeks and the doctor found a spot on her lung that wasn’t pneumonia (thank goodness) but it was scary because she’s a 2 year cancer survivor. I was so grateful she didn’t have pneumonia, but the x-ray was scary. I realized how thankful I am that I have Shingles, not cancer. I had seen so many pictures and read how dangerous it was for the nerves in your eyes, to have Shingles on your face. As inconvenient and uncomfortable it is to have this small, ugly alien attached to my derrière, I am so grateful it’s there instead of on my face. As scared as I am of any and all drugs, I am grateful that there are things to help speed the process and lessen the effects, that there are options available if the discomfort becomes unbearable, that my insurance pays most of the cost and I’m only out the cost of a donut and a cup of coffee. As fearful as I am of going to the doctor and absorbing flu and stomach virus germs while in their offices, I am grateful those professionals are there, that they listen to my concerns and fears, my complaints and questions, and that my insurance covers my visits.There are so many things that could be worse than Shingles. In my weak moments, fear grabs me and takes control. In other words, the devil is trying to weaken my faith. Well, my calamities are not anywhere near the same scale with Job's, but I will not let the devil use me as a pawn or make bad matters worse. With every dose of medicine, I will serve up myself a dose of gratefulness. I will try very hard to swallow my fears and inject myself with faith that God’s got my back. He’s holding my hand; He knows how I fear the unknown (mainly because I am a control freak); He won’t leave me. He has provided me with intelligence to know when to seek help, with medical professionals who are kind and caring and knowledgeable, with drugs to ease and heal, with insurance to cover it all. What should I fear?               

I hope that whatever ailment or situation you are dealing with, whatever crises you experience, that in the midst of fear, panic, confusion, anger, despair—that you take a moment and go over your Facebook news feed. Scan the prayer requests, the comments of those announcing a house fire, sharing the news of a job loss or financial troubles, a domestic situation, an illness, announcing a death. There is always someone who has it worse. Stop and pray for them. Tell them you are praying for them. Then, every time you feel compelled to cry out to God for your situation, follow it up by calling out the names of those other people or situations that need prayer. Replace your fear, anger, confusion, panic with faith, hope, gratitude, and love.

Just as I first believed when we lost a child, I still believe today, the words of  2 Corinthians 1:3-5-- "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ."

I would love for you to comment below with your favorite scripture or quote that gives you comfort. Please feel free to share your prayer requests as well. I hope you will pray for me. I will  certainly be praying for you.

Chee Chee

@thistapestryofmine